There was no prepared or written speech of welcome. After our Guest Speaker rang at 2.00 p.m. on the afternoon of the Dinner to advise of his inability to attend owing to illness, closely followed by a call from Tony who advised that he too would be unable to attend as his father was unwell, I went into panic mode closely followed by a severe depression.

Nevertheless, I gathered my wits by the evening and, ex tempore:

• Welcomed one and all.
• Delivered apologies for our Guest Speaker and Tony.
• Gave thanks to our benefactors Richard Lindner, Dietmar Lederwasch, Glenn Ford and Berin Denham.
• Explained why we had finally arrived at “Walker’s Café” despite constant suggestions from Members over the previous Twelve Dinners.
• Explained why Goody Bags were becoming harder to provide.
• Described a two month saga of email and mobile phone communications with Ms Pooja Vij of The Times of India in Delhi in an attempt to procure some “Defenders of the Earth” VCD’s for a resurgent Goody Bag (the bloody things arrived on the following Monday!).
• Proposed the Loyal Toast to Lee Falk.

Not a bad speech really, especially considering that I’d fallen off my bike around midday, grazed my right knee, stuffed my left wrist and torn an intercostal muscle.