Thank you all for coming. We welcome several new Members and hope they have a wonderful evening.

There are many who would like to have been with us but have sent regretful apologies. To name but three, Simon Turnbull, psychic and confidante of the stars, once again failed to foresee an interstate business commitment on this evening; ‘Doc’ Neeson, music legend, had to cancel out yesterday owing to the passing of his mother-in-law in Adelaide and I must make a special mention of Richard Lindner in the Barossa, a captive of the grape harvest, who nevertheless has sent the usual dozen bottles for gratuitous dispersal.

We are very grateful to whatever gods we believe in to have Dietmar and Julia here with us, safe and sound, after the trauma of the Bali bombing.

Our sincere thanks to three other Gentlemen; Glenn Ford who has been so disgusted by my amateurish menus and place settings of the past that he has designed those for this evening; Dietmar Lederwasch for donating yet another of the Phantom Generation posters; and Brad Peach who has brilliantly framed the three fantastic artworks to be auctioned tonight. I add that all three artists are here tonight. Welcome gentlemen.

While on the subject of the auction, as well as the three aforementioned pieces Jim Shepherd has donated an original Fred Fredericks and Romano Felmang has donated five original pages. And the piéce de resistance is like the Daily Telegraph article you have in your Goody Bag but printed on photographic paper and signed and inscribed by none other than our Phantom Premier himself, Morris Iemma. I have it from the horse’s mouth that the part of the inscription which reads “Shh, the walls have ears” refers to last week’s incident at the Premiers’ conference in Canberra when the microphones supposedly caught him calling the Cross City Tunnel CEO an F-wit. I say supposedly because the horse in question has assured me that the microphones were switched off and that perhaps other unseen microphones are never switched off. So this is a unique Phanton collectable, never to be repeated, and it will be worth a great deal in the future. I told Morris we’d get $100’s for it to encourage him to sign so don’t embarrass me. Remember, it’s for the children.

Our Guest Speaker, Jim Shepherd, will entertain us between entrée and main course with a salacious exposé of the life of Lee Falk and I believe he has a couple of surprises for us.

And now, in honour of the 70th birthday of a 400 year old man … I believe it … please charge your glasses, stand and join me in a loyal toast to our hero’s creator, Lee Falk …to Lee Falk.

Thank you all. Enjoy!